Holding On and Letting Go
by ihearttvsnark
Summary: Elena decides that her friends would be better off without her and convinces Elijah to let her join him when he leaves town after his mother's failed attempt to kill him and his siblings while friends and enemies try to track them down. AU after 3x15
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Holding On and Letting Go

**Author:** ihearttvsnark

**Chapters: **22

**Fandom:** The Vampire Diaries

**Pairing/Characters: **Elena Gilbert and Elijah Mikaelson, Caroline Forbes, Klaus Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore

**Rating: **R

**Summary: **Elena decides that her friends would be better off without her and convinces Elijah to let her join him when he leaves town after his mother's failed attempt to kill him and his siblings. Unable to sit back and let her go, Elena's friends and enemies set out to find her, but no one's journey turns out the way they expected.

**Warnings: Spoilers **through _**3x15 All My Children**_ and then the story is AU. Elena/Elijah will be the main focus of this story but the other characters named are heavily featured in each chapter.

* * *

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_

_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_

**Chapter 1**

He had never intended for things to spin this far out of control.

As Elijah stood in his bedroom at the manor, staring out the window at the night sky, the full moon shone brightly as he tried to pinpoint when everything had gone so wrong. It might have been when Damon had pulled the dagger from his heart, allowing him to plot revenge against his brother. Or perhaps it was even earlier than that when he'd decided it was a good idea to set foot in Mystic Falls again in the first place. He'd been motivated by revenge then too and he contemplated for a moment whether that told him everything he needed to know.

Esther's words from earlier echoed in his head as if on an endless loop. _Even you, Elijah, with your claim to nobility; you're no better; you're a curse on this earth, all of you. _He hadn't tried to deny her accusation because deep down, he'd known she was right. He had stood in judgment of Niklaus, but he had killed when it had suited him. Another conversation played through his mind and this time it was his own words that haunted him.

_Sometimes there's honor in revenge._

That was how he had made his vendetta against his brother sound just when he'd explained his motives to Elena and he'd meant it too. Elijah had believed that for centuries as he'd scoured the earth, searching for Niklaus to make him pay for what he'd done to their family or what Elijah had _thought_ he'd done to their family. He'd wanted to kill his own brother and he would have if Niklaus hadn't told him the truth at the last moment. He called himself a moral man, an _honorable_ man and yet he'd had his hand in his brother's chest, prepared to rip his heart out once and for all.

That action alone proved that he was no better than Niklaus, no better than Kol or Rebekah or any other vampire out there who took innocent lives and manipulated people to their whims. He'd acted like he was above it all, but he wasn't. He might even be worse than the others because he claimed everything he did was in the name of his family. What kind of man used his family as an excuse to hurt other people? It was time for him to face what he'd ignored for centuries.

He wasn't a man. He was a monster.

Elena had wanted to help him, to find a way to save him from his mother's spell; he'd seen it in her eyes, the guilt she'd felt for deceiving him. How had he repaid her for her compassion? He'd used her as bait and had left her with Rebekah, knowing perfectly well what his sister could and _would_ do to her. Elijah hadn't cared; he'd justified it since she'd lied to him. But Elena had been right to lie just as Esther had been right to want to destroy the abominations she'd created. She should have let them die a thousand years ago like they were supposed to. The world would be so different if she had.

But Elijah couldn't blame his mother for what they had become. She'd wanted to spare their lives and keep them safe. They were the ones who had taken it upon themselves to choose the path that had led to so much darkness. He wasn't blameless, none of them were. He'd let his hatred and anger get the best of him and Elijah knew the night could easily have ended differently. One wrong step, one miscalculation and Elena would have paid the price for his selfishness.

Tonight had been the final straw; the push he'd needed all along to see what he had become. He was everything he had claimed to hate and he was not going to live this way anymore. Elijah knew if he stayed in Mystic Falls, he would continue to fall into the same trap. He would want to do everything he could to protect his family and he would act like that gave him a license to do as he pleased because he had an honorable reason. But there was no honor in his behavior. Perhaps there never had been.

Elijah turned away from the window and moved toward the desk, pulling out a piece of paper and writing an apology that he knew would not be enough, but it was all he had left to offer.

* * *

"…_carry it with you as I will carry my regret; always and forever, Elijah."_

Elena stared at the letter in her hand, reading Elijah's words a second time and then a third. She knew he was sorry for what he'd done and he was right; she did understand the need to put her family and the people she loved the most above everything else. It might not always be the smartest decision, but she all she'd ever wanted was for the people she cared about to be safe. She knew Elijah wanted that too and that was why he'd been so desperate to stop Esther from killing his entire family.

But it was the regrets that he spoke of that worried her. The letter was more than an apology; it was a goodbye. Elena's gaze shifted from the letter to the window beside her. She knew there was a full moon, but the trees in her yard blocked it and all she saw was darkness. That seemed much more fitting to her. She glanced at the paper again and wondered if all of the Originals were planning to leave town; if they were going to go into hiding to make sure their mother didn't have another chance to attack them.

She doubted Klaus would leave; Rebekah either. Elena knew Rebekah would come after her again and one or more of her friends would stand in the vampire's way because her friends wouldn't let anything happen to her. Caroline had said Bonnie loved her enough to make sacrifices for her and Elena knew that was true. But that didn't make her feel any better knowing that Bonnie's mother was a vampire now because of her.

Elena's chest tightened at the memory of Caroline turning her away as she'd begged to see Bonnie. Elena had wanted to help her and apologize, but what good would that have done? Abby was still a vampire and there was nothing they could do to change that. Caroline was a vampire because of her too. Elena was the reason Katherine had come to Mystic Falls; the reason Klaus had come to Mystic Falls.

How many times had Alaric died because he'd been doing something to protect her? Tyler's werewolf curse had been triggered because of her. Matt had lost his sister because of her. Bonnie had lost her grandmother and now her mother's ties to their bloodline had been severed to save her. Jeremy had been forced to leave his home. Jenna was dead. John was dead. Isobel was dead. Caroline's father was dead.

A small sob escaped her throat and Elena quickly covered her mouth with her hand as she blinked back the tears. What right did she have to cry? She was a walking curse and all the people she loved were forced to suffer because of her. Stefan and Damon certainly hadn't escaped unscathed. It didn't matter that they'd already been vampires; knowing her had made their lives that much worse. Sometimes she wondered why anyone gave her the time of day.

Elijah had the right idea. Elena's eyes drifted to the letter and she read his words one more time. He'd gone out of his way to protect her too and he'd ended up with a dagger in his heart for his troubles; once by her own hand. She had no right to hold what he'd done tonight against him and she didn't. She also couldn't help wishing that he wasn't leaving. But Elena knew he was probably better off; they would probably all be better off leaving Mystic Falls behind. Or maybe everyone would be better off if _she_ left Mystic Falls.

Stefan had accused her of being a martyr once; the time she'd been willing to die to give Klaus what he wanted so she could protect those around her. But she hadn't counted on Klaus killing Jenna or John dying to bring her back. Elena certainly hadn't expected Stefan to have to turn himself over to Klaus to save Damon from the werewolf bite. All she'd wanted was to keep everyone safe and she hadn't been able to because there had been too many unforeseen circumstances. That always seemed to be the case.

They would look for her if she left town. Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Caroline and certainly Klaus would come after her. She was his blood source for his hybrids and Elena knew he wouldn't let her get far. Maybe she could leave without telling anyone and at least get a decent head start. Stefan and Damon weren't speaking to her; Caroline was taking care of Bonnie and Bonnie wanted no part of her. Jeremy was gone and she had no idea where Alaric had disappeared to that night. If she was going to go, now was the time to do it.

Elena honestly didn't know if it was the right choice. Running away felt wrong but how could she stay and bring more misery on the people she loved? She reread Elijah's words again. He'd said her compassion was a gift and she should carry it with her. The most compassionate thing she could think of was for her to disappear. It was the only way her friends and family would have some chance at a normal life. Klaus would come after her, but then the rest of them would be free.

She got up quickly, her mind made up. Elena folded Elijah's letter and stuffed it into her dresser drawer before she hurried toward the closet. She didn't take much, just enough clothes for a few days and then she added a few essentials from the bathroom. She grabbed a piece of paper, pausing to think for a moment and then she quickly start to write. When she was finished, Elena glanced around her room at all of the keepsakes and memories. There was a part of her that wanted to take all of them with her, but she ignored it. Her heart was pounding as she flipped the switch to turn off the light and rushed down the stairs. She knew she didn't have much time.

* * *

Elijah slowed the car to a stop and turned off the engine, not bothering to remove the keys from the ignition before he stepped outside. The night breeze rustled his coat as he moved toward the clearing, wanting to see it one last time before he left the town behind. It was his ritual each time he left Mystic Falls and he knew this may be the final time he would stand in this spot. Perhaps it was nostalgia that brought him back to the spot that had once been a happy place for him and his family or perhaps it was just another symptom of his regret. It was easy to look back and remember simpler times, even one thousand years later.

He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to let go of the connection, the pull he felt to remain in Mystic Falls. His talk with Rebekah had only furthered his desire to leave, but it had also brought him fresh guilt. Elijah knew Kol was gone and Finn had disappeared with Esther. He didn't think it was wise to leave Niklaus and Rebekah alone here, but what choice did he have? Elijah needed to break free of the curse that had been plaguing him and attempt to make up for all the wrongs he had created. It was the only way he was going to survive with his sanity intact. That was all he had left now that his honor was gone.

His enhanced senses allowed him to hear the footsteps approaching, but it was something else altogether that told him _who_ was rushing toward him. Elijah opened his eyes, but he did not turn around, choosing instead to stare at the rocks and the cracked ground in front of him; the ground he had broken when he'd pulled her down into the cavern. "You should not have come here."

Elena came to a stop a few feet behind him. Her bag was heavy on her shoulder, her legs were tired from running and the wind was whipping her hair around her face, but she didn't care about any of that. She was just glad that it wasn't too late. "Did you really think it was okay to just leave a note?" she asked.

"No," Elijah replied truthfully. He'd acknowledged that the action was cowardly, even if he did think it was best to sever ties in the swiftest manner. But Elena was there now and that was no longer an option. He turned to face her, his expression stoic. "Was there something else you wanted to say?" he asked.

She set her bag down and pushed her hair away from her face. Elena didn't know what to make of the look in his eyes. She could see the regret he'd written about in the letter, but there was something else there that had replaced his usual resolve. It took her a moment to realize what it was. "You've given up," she said.

"It's time," Elijah replied. He stepped forward, closing some of the distance between them and clasped his hands behind his back. "I am sorry, Elena, not only for what my family has done to you, but for my part in it. This is not the person I am supposed to be," he told her quietly.

Elena shook her head. "You don't have to keep apologizing to me, Elijah." She could see the guilt that he felt and it mirrored what was in her heart. There was nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that her friends were in pain because of her. She liked to think that Elijah considered her a friend or he had before she'd betrayed him again. She understood why he was feeling guilty and she didn't want him to, not for her. "I understand," she said.

A faint smile touched his lips but it was gone in an instant as his eyes moved to the bag she had dropped at her feet. He met her gaze again and he somehow knew what she was planning. "No."

"Why not?" Elena challenged. She had expected him to react this way, but she knew she could change his mind. She hoped so anyway because she didn't really have a backup plan other than taking off on her own. "We both need to leave this place behind. Take me with you," she said.

Elena knew it was drastic, but it was the only way. If she set out on her own, Klaus would find her in no time. But Elijah had traveled the world several times over and he would be able to disappear and stay off his brother's radar.

"Running away is not the answer for you, Elena," Elijah told her. He could see the allure of it, but he knew Elena would not be happy away from the people she cared about the most. It wasn't too late for her like it was for him.

Her eyes narrowed and she refused to back down. "I think I'm the only one qualified to decide what is right for me, Elijah, and this is what I want. Take me with you," she said again.

Elijah raised an eyebrow, studying her. "Less than twelve hours ago, I kidnapped you from this spot and left you with my sister who wanted nothing more than to kill you," he reminded her. "Why would you want to come with me?" He assumed that he was missing something; something that had changed for her since that morning.

"You apologized for that and I told you that I understand," Elena replied. She wasn't going to let him use that as an excuse to turn her down. "I'm tired of being the reason people get hurt. Do you know what happened to Bonnie's mom?" she asked.

He nodded as a fresh wave of shame coursed through him. Elijah had known what the Salvatores were planning; he'd set it in motion when he'd threatened to have Rebekah kill Elena faster after they'd tried to double cross him by staking Kol. "That was not your fault, Elena. It was mine," Elijah said.

"You wouldn't have had to resort to drastic measures if I had told you about the spell sooner or if I had stopped you from drinking that champagne at the ball," Elena countered. Elijah had been good to her and she'd lied to his face more than once. That was all the more reason she didn't blame him for what had happened earlier. "We could stand out here and trade blame all night or we could leave."

"People will look for you," Elijah pointed out. No one was going to look for him. His family was shattered beyond repair and he'd forsaken friends and acquaintances long ago unless he'd needed something from someone. But things were different for Elena. Her friends and family were not going to let her disappear into the night without a word. Neither would his for that matter.

"Niklaus will come after you." Elijah was beginning to understand why she had come to him, why she had decided that if she was going to leave town, she would need an ally. It was smart thinking on her part, but he knew he was not the person to keep her safe.

She could practically see him wavering and Elena had a feeling it wouldn't take much to push him in the direction she wanted to go. A twinge of guilt sprang up in her chest, but she pushed it aside. "I know he will. But I also know that you won't let anything happen to me. I've made up my mind," Elena said stubbornly.

Elijah closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath even though he didn't need the air. She was playing him like a fiddle but he didn't doubt that she'd run off on her own if he didn't give in to her demands. "I will not come back to this town," he warned her as he met her gaze once more.

"I won't either," Elena replied. Saying the words hurt, but she knew it was for the best. She had to leave before anyone else got hurt. "Elijah, this is what I want. I don't want to hurt anyone else." She swallowed hard, refusing to let the tears well in her eyes. She needed to be strong.

His instincts warned him that this was a mistake. His head told him that his instincts had failed him a lot lately. He looked to his heart and all he felt was guilt and regret. Elijah was out of options and he knew that she knew that. He stepped forward, holding her gaze as he leaned close to her and picked up her bag from the ground. "Get in the car, Elena."

* * *

Caroline chewed on her lip as she stared at the door in front of her. She'd been standing on the porch for almost five minutes, but she couldn't quite bring herself to knock. Her eyes drifted to the note that she was holding in her hand. This was not going to go well and it wasn't going to get any easier if she kept waiting. She took a deep breath out of habit and knocked on the door. "Please be out," she whispered, still looking for an excuse to put this off.

Luck was not on her side. The door was swung open and Damon raised an eyebrow at her. "Barbie," he greeted. "What brings you by? Isn't it a school day?" he asked, giving her that smug smirk that always made Caroline want to slap him.

"Is Stefan here?" Caroline asked. It was bad enough that she had to be the one to do this; she'd much rather tell Stefan than Damon. She doubted either of them was going to take it well, but at least she knew Stefan wouldn't hurt her. Damon was too unpredictable.

"He is but I don't think he's in the mood for school. You know how it is," Damon replied. "Was that it or…?" He gave her a questioning look as he leaned against the door.

"No," Caroline said. She moved past him without giving him an answer and made her way into the living room. Stefan was sitting on the couch with a book and he'd obviously been listening to their conversation. She could see the curiosity on his face and held up her hand before he had a chance to ask a question. She waited for Damon to walk into the room and she decided it was best to just blurt it out.

"Okay so Bonnie has been upset since Damon turned her mom and that's understandable," Caroline started, speaking quickly. She glanced at Damon. "I get that you were doing it to save Elena and Bonnie would do anything for Elena. But she's sort of mad at her, you know? It's not personal but she doesn't want to see her right now and I told Elena that and I felt bad because Elena looked so hurt and then I guess she went back home after that and I wanted to see her this morning and tell her that Bonnie was still mad, but she's hanging in there."

"Caroline," Stefan interrupted sharply. He could see that she was nervous, but there had to be a reason she was standing there babbling in their living room and he had a bad feeling. Stefan could see that Damon was about two seconds away from throttling Caroline and that wasn't going to help anything. "Can you get to the point?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even so she would relax.

Caroline nodded. "No one was home when I got there. Well, Alaric was home, but he was asleep. Probably hung over," she added, wincing when she saw Damon glare at her out of the corner of her eye. "Elena must have known that I would come by because she left a note and…hey!"

"We don't have all day," Damon snapped as he unfolded the note he had snatched from her hand. "Dear Caroline," he read. "I'm sorry to put this on you but I don't have a lot of time and I needed to tell someone. I can't be a burden on all of you anymore. You're always in danger because of me and I love you too much to let you continue to get hurt and that's why I'm leaving town tonight." Damon stopped reading and let out a loud curse.

Stefan was off the couch in a second and took the paper from his brother. "I need you to tell Bonnie how sorry I am and please tell Stefan and Damon that I do not want them to look for me. I don't want any of you to look for me. I need you all to trust me enough to know that this is the decision I need to make for me. I love you all. Elena." His chest tightened, but Stefan tried to push it aside, knowing that he was going to have to stop Damon from doing something stupid.

Damon was already stomping toward the door. "She couldn't have gotten far. I'm going to find her and drag her back here by her hair if I have to." He glared at Stefan when his brother sped into his path. "Step aside, brother. You know I'm right. She belongs here where we can keep her safe."

"Elena is stubborn," Stefan reminded him. "If we tell her what to do, she's only going to find another way to run away. We need to be rational with her. I'll find her," he said.

"Guys, there's more," Caroline said quietly, drawing both of their attention to her again. This was the part she really didn't want to tell them. "There was another note that I found in her room. It was from Elijah," she said. Stefan and Damon were both staring at her so she rushed on. "He apologized for the whole thing where he held her hostage and let Rebekah torture her and it sounded like he was leaving town too..." She let her voice trail off, knowing they could put two and two together.

"Are you saying that Elena left town with Elijah?" Damon asked. His mouth fell open and he shook his head. He couldn't believe Elena would be dumb enough to do that after that Original had almost killed her to protect his own life. Then again, it was Elena and she always trusted the wrong people.

Stefan was as shocked as Damon, but he knew it was the kind of thing Elena would do. She was all too forgiving. "If Elena left with Elijah, it's going to be next to impossible to find them," he said quietly. "He's been alive over a thousand years and he spent most of that time traveling the world. He's got connections and he knows how to disappear."

"No," Damon said firmly, annoyed that Stefan was willing to give up that quickly. "We're not just going to stand back and let Elena leave town. You're forgetting about a little problem named Klaus," he pointed out. "Do you really think he's going to just sit back and let his brother take off with the blood source for his hybrids?" he asked.

"Maybe," Caroline said, attempting to defuse the tension. "Klaus would know that Elijah would never hurt Elena so maybe he'd be okay with it." She knew that probably wasn't true, but she didn't want things to get worse.

Damon gave her a look that clearly said he thought she was an idiot. "And maybe everyday will be kittens and rainbows and we can all hold hands and sing friendship songs." He rolled his eyes and held out his hand. "Let me see the other note," he ordered.

"I didn't bring it with me," Caroline replied. "It's still in Elena's room," she added. "But it's not like there were any clues in it. He was just saying goodbye to her. Maybe she didn't leave with him."

"She did," Stefan said. He knew Elena would want to get away, but she wouldn't want to be completely alone. Elijah couldn't be killed and he wasn't in any danger from Klaus. But that still didn't mean she was safe with him. The Originals had a lot of enemies and anyone who knew the story knew how important the doppelganger was to Klaus could be a potential threat to her.

"We're wasting time," Damon snapped. "Stefan and I are going to the Gilberts to wake up Ric and see if there are any more clues that you missed and then we're hitting the road. Barbie, you need to go distract Klaus. Keep him busy so he doesn't notice that we're on our way out of town," he said. "Hopefully, we can get Elena back here before he notices she's gone." He started for the door and then changed his mind, speeding into the other room and returning a few seconds later.

He held up the stake that he had removed from Elijah's chest that Ric had in turn plunged into Kol's. "This will be our insurance policy to make sure we don't have any issues. Let's go," he said, tucking it into his pants and moving toward the door.

Stefan glanced back at Caroline as he moved to follow him. "Be careful of Klaus," he warned. "Don't ever trust him," he said. "I'll text you if we find anything. You do the same."

Caroline sighed. She knew she didn't have a choice in the matter, but seeing Klaus wasn't exactly high on her to-do list. He'd obviously figured out that she'd betrayed him and he probably wasn't going to be happy to see her. But she knew Damon was right and they had to make sure he didn't find out that Elena was gone.

* * *

It took her less than ten minutes to drive to Klaus's mansion and once again she found herself standing on a doorstep, not wanting to go inside. Caroline rang the doorbell and squared her shoulders, projecting a confidence that she didn't feel. The door was opened and Rebekah stood in the foyer, a bored look on her face as she met Caroline's gaze.

"What do you want?" Rebekah asked distastefully. She was still furious that her brothers had abandoned her again and that her mother wanted her dead. Nik had been sulking all night and Rebekah really wasn't in the mood to deal with the bitch who had participated in a plan to kill her the night before.

"I came to see Klaus," Caroline replied. She refused to give Rebekah the satisfaction of glaring at her. She wasn't worth it. "Is he here?" she asked impatiently.

Rebekah's eyes narrowed. "My brother doesn't want anything to do with you. He knows what you did and he doesn't forgive betrayal. You can go," she said as she started to close the door in Caroline's face.

"Rebekah," Klaus called with a hint of warning in his tone as he leaned against the railing on the upstairs landing. "We have better manners than that, sister." He was downstairs in the blink of an eye, standing beside Rebekah. "Did you come to apologize, love?" he asked.

Caroline knew there were a few ways she could play this. If she acted like she was feeling guilty, Klaus might get suspicious. But she had sought him out so it wasn't like she could be annoyed by his presence either. Caroline decided to improvise. "No," she said. "You've done nothing but hurt my friends since you got here. Can you blame me for wanting to kill you?" she asked.

"Yes," Rebekah replied, scowling. Klaus gave her a look and she fell silent, irritated that he was naïve enough to fall for whatever it was that Caroline was trying to sell.

"If you want me dead, sweetheart, why are you here?" Klaus asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched Caroline closely. "I have to assume that you have another plan and since my mother failed to bring about my death, I'm a little wary of your sudden need to come calling. Why are you here, Caroline?"

They were both looking at her suspiciously and Caroline knew she had made a mistake coming there. It didn't matter what she said at this point, Klaus knew something was going on. Even if she did distract him, he was still going to find out about Elena and he would go after her and probably kill anyone who got in his way. She swallowed hard, making a split second decision that she knew could very well come back to haunt her. Or Damon would tear her heart out, but she had to go with her instincts.

"I came here to offer you a deal," she said. "May I come in?" Caroline figured she should still try to stall as long as possible.

Klaus and Rebekah exchanged a glance and he shook his head when she opened her mouth. "Where are your manners, Rebekah? We should have this conversation like civilized people." He stepped aside and motioned for Caroline to come into the house. "Would you like some tea, love?"

Caroline shook her head, ignoring the dread she felt as she crossed the threshold into the house. She was already rethinking her plan, but it was too late to back out now. She followed Klaus into the den and noticed Rebekah was lingering in the entryway. Caroline really wished she wasn't there, but it wasn't like there was any point in asking her to leave. She'd hear everything with her vampire hearing anyway.

"I'm bored," Rebekah announced. She couldn't believe her brother was going to be taken in by Caroline again. "You said something about a deal?" she prompted, "Get to the point."

"You'll have to forgive my sister. Patience has never been her strong suit." Klaus's smile faded and he gave Caroline a look that sent a noticeable shudder down her spine even though she was trying not to show her fear. "It's not mine either. Tell me about this deal and why you think I'd be interested in anything you have to say after the way you behaved," he said.

Caroline saw Rebekah smirk, but she ignored her. "I heard Elijah left town last night," she said. Caroline was still stalling, trying to give Stefan and Damon as much time as possible to search Elena's house and get on the road.

"Most of my family left town last night," Klaus corrected her, his expression hardening even further. "Why does that concern you?"

"Elena left too," Caroline replied. She knew if her heart still beat, it would be pounding uncontrollably in her chest at the moment. This was it. Her plan was either going to work or it was going to blow up in her face. "She was upset about what happened to Bonnie's mom and she didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of her."

"She left with my brother?" Rebekah cried, outraged, before Klaus had a chance to say anything. "He really is pathetic. What is it about that bitch that everyone wants to save her? I should have torn her head off when I had the chance," she grumbled.

"Enough," Klaus snapped. He grabbed Caroline's shoulders, much the same way he had outside the Grill and she felt fresh fear coursing through her. "Do you know for certain that they left together?" he demanded.

"No," Caroline replied. She didn't squirm, knowing it would only hurt more if she tried to break the iron grip he had on her. "But it seems like something Elena would do. Stefan and Damon are going to look for her. They're at her house now searching for clues and they sent me here to distract you but I want to make a deal with you instead," she said quickly.

"I'm listening," Klaus said. His grip on her loosened a little, but he was still holding her too tight for her to break away without hurting herself.

"I know you're going to go after them too and I know you might have better luck since you know Elijah and you have people who can help you," Caroline added, referring to his hybrid army. "Elena is my best friend and I just want to make sure she's okay. I can convince her to come back and no one has to get hurt," she said.

Rebekah scoffed. "You expect my brother to trust you to go look for her after everything you've done to hurt us?" She rolled her eyes at the notion. Nik might have a thing for the blonde for whatever reason, but Rebekah knew how important the stupid doppelganger was to him. He wasn't going to risk his precious hybrids for anything.

Caroline glared at her. "I didn't say that." She turned her head back to meet Klaus's eyes. "The deal I'm offering is that I will come with you to look for Elena and once we find her, I will convince her to come back. All I'm asking in return is that you don't hurt anyone in the process. Not Stefan or Damon or anyone," she said.

"Don't trust her, Nik," Rebekah warned. "She's already deceived you more than once. You don't need her to find Elena," she pointed out. Rebekah thought it would be better for everyone if Elena just disappeared, but she knew her brother wouldn't appreciate her opinion on the matter.

Klaus was silent as he watched Caroline carefully. She had no idea what he was thinking and she just hoped he wasn't planning on snapping her neck. Her natural instinct was to keep talking, but she held back, not wanting to push her luck. After what seemed like a small eternity, he released her shoulders and held out his hand to her.

"I give you my word that if you accompany me to find Elena, no harm will come to you or your friends as long as no one tries to stop me from bringing her back here including my brother," he added darkly.

"Nik, what is wrong with you?" Rebekah admonished as she watched Caroline shake her brother's hand. "She's playing you for a fool. Haven't we already lost enough?" she demanded.

"Quiet, Rebekah," Klaus replied. He held Caroline's hand in his and met her eyes. "My brother has a few favorite spots. We'll start with those. Are you ready to leave, love?" he asked.

"I need to stop by my house and pack a bag. I need to leave a note for my mom too," Caroline said. She had no idea what she was going to tell her. "I can meet you back here in an hour. Maybe two," she corrected, figuring she could stall a little longer even though Damon was probably going to kill her anyway.

Klaus shook his head. "You can have fifteen minutes to pack and I will wait for you. No offense, love, but I'm not taking any chances," he said. He let go of her hand and gestured toward the doorway. "Shall we?"

Rebekah made a face. "Fifteen minutes isn't enough time for me to pack, Nik," she pointed out. She had no idea where they were going and she had tons of new, pretty clothes that she wanted to bring with her. "I need an hour."

Caroline opened her mouth to point out that Rebekah was not part of the deal, but Klaus beat her to it. "You're staying here, Rebekah. Keep an eye on Matt and the history teacher and the witch," he added with a scowl. Klaus didn't trust any of them. "I'll be in touch." He moved toward the door with Caroline behind him.

"You can't just leave me here, Nik!" Rebekah shouted. But he was already out the door. She stared at it, anger flowing through her veins as he disappeared with Caroline. Rebekah was tired of being left behind and if her brothers all thought they could just abandon her and run off with their new playthings, they had another thing coming. She turned on her heel and sped up the stairs to pack her bag.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for all the lovely feedback and all the story alerts. **

* * *

**Title: **Holding On and Letting Go

**Author:** ihearttvsnark

**Chapters: **22

**Fandom:** The Vampire Diaries

**Pairing/Characters: **Elena Gilbert and Elijah Mikaelson, Caroline Forbes, Klaus Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore

**Rating: **R

**Summary: **Elena decides that her friends would be better off without her and convinces Elijah to let her join him when he leaves town after his mother's failed attempt to kill him and his siblings. Unable to sit back and let her go, Elena's friends and enemies set out to find her, but no one's journey turns out the way they expected.

**Warnings: Spoilers **through _**3x15 All My Children**_ and then the story is AU. Elena/Elijah will be the main focus of this story but the other characters named are heavily featured in each chapter.

* * *

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_

_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_

**Chapter 2**

Stefan stared out the passenger window of Damon's car, watching the scenery go by in a blur as Damon practically floored the accelerator, like driving fast was somehow magically going to tell them the right way to go. They'd spent almost an hour at the Gilbert house, looking for any sign of where Elena might have gone and Damon had interrogated a barely conscious, hung over Ric until Stefan had finally pulled his brother aside and ordered him to knock it off. He had a feeling Ric was going to spend the next few hours drinking his guilt away and they still didn't know where to start looking for Elena.

Damon was driving east on the highway, but Stefan knew that he didn't have any clue where he was going. He hadn't said anything for almost an hour and Stefan could only imagine what he was thinking. Stefan continued to stare out the window as he wondered if they were doing the right thing. He doubted it; he couldn't really remember the last time either of them had done the right thing, especially when it came to Elena. It was no wonder she'd decided to run away with Elijah.

Stefan knew that in spite of what Elijah had done to stop his mother; he was the one Original who was not going to hurt Elena. He was too honorable for that and Elena obviously trusted him or she wouldn't have disappeared with him in the first place. But Stefan also knew that Klaus would hunt them both down and he could easily stash Elena someplace where none of them would be able to find her and he'd just continually drain her blood and make more hybrids. Stefan hated that he hadn't been able to kill that bastard yet.

His mind drifted to the conversation he'd had with Elena the night the Originals had thrown a ball. She'd thanked him for always trusting her to make her own decisions. Stefan knew that she would be furious when she found out they were trying to track her down and she would have every right to be. She was eighteen and she was more than capable of knowing her own mind. He opened his mouth, but Damon cut him off before he could say the words.

"Save it, Stefan," Damon warned as he pressed down harder on the accelerator. He didn't know why the car couldn't seem to go any faster. He sent his brother a sideways glance and rolled his eyes when he saw the familiar disapproving look on Stefan's face. "If this is the part where you lecture me about how Elena knows what she wants and we need to respect that, I will knock you out for the rest of the trip," he warned. Damon had heard that speech one too many times and he wasn't interested in hearing it again.

Elena made impulsive decisions when she thought she was protecting the people closest to her. She felt guilty about Bonnie's mom being turned and her solution was to cut and run. That part was bad enough, but the fact that she'd left with an Original was what really pissed him off. Elijah hadn't exactly been Mr. Honor and Integrity when he'd thrown Elena in a hole and had given Rebekah free rein to torture her. How were they supposed to know that he wouldn't do it again? Or that he wouldn't suddenly take Klaus's side and let him use Elena as his personal blood bank? Damon wasn't going to take that chance.

Stefan glared at his brother. "Do you think she's going to be happy to see either of us after what happened? This is a waste of time, Damon. You don't even know where we're going," he pointed out. "Elijah could have taken her anywhere in the world in a matter of minutes if he chose to. What makes you think we'll even find her?" he asked. Stefan knew seeing the rational side of things had never been Damon's strong suit, but he had to try and convince him to stop before he made things worse.

"I don't care if she's happy to see us," Damon replied. He didn't care if Elena never spoke to him again as long as she did it from Mystic Falls where there were plenty of people to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't end up dead before her time. "Besides Brother, if you were really half as against this as you want me to think you are, you would have stayed in Mystic Falls, but instead, you got in the car with me. You might as well just admit you want to bring Elena home too."

"I want to stop you from doing anything crazy," Stefan countered. He knew Damon had the dagger and he also knew that if his brother was acting rash, he could easily wind up with a stake in his heart and unlike the Originals; Damon wouldn't bounce back from that. "Elena made her choice and it wasn't either of us. You need to accept that."

Damon glared at him. "Elena went with Elijah because she's trying to protect everyone else including us. She didn't choose him over us," he muttered even if that was exactly what it felt like. But Damon didn't care. He was going to find Elena and if he couldn't talk some sense into her, he was going to drag her home by her hair and his brother wasn't going to stop him.

"This is a mistake, Damon," Stefan reminded him once again. He still didn't see how they were supposed to track Elena down when they had nothing to go on. Neither of them knew Elijah well enough to guess where he might have gone first and Elena hadn't left any clues. Stefan doubted she'd known where they were headed when they left.

"Make yourself useful," Damon replied, ignoring everything Stefan was saying as he nodded toward the backseat. "Get me the bag of blood that's back there," he ordered. "I'm hungry."

"I already drank it."

Both brothers turned, stunned, to see Rebekah sitting in the middle of the backseat, a bored look on her face. "Sorry," she said, not sounding the least bit apologetic as she leaned forward, resting her hands on the back of their seats. "I got bored listening to the two of you drone on and on."

"Damon, the road!" Stefan warned as the car swerved dangerously to the right. Damon yanked the steering wheel to put them back in the lane and Stefan shifted, still staring at Rebekah in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Rebekah ignored him completely, turning her attention to Damon. He was watching the road again, but made a point to meet her eyes in the rearview mirror. "You didn't call," she said quietly.

His mouth fell open, but he recovered quickly, flashing an easy smile. "Come on, Blondie. I was too busy trying to save your life," Damon pointed out. His mind was racing as he tried to figure out how Rebekah had gotten in his car without either of them noticing. They both had a lot on their minds, but still. She could have staked them both by now if she'd wanted to and she obviously knew that Elena was with Elijah, which wasn't good because she would tell Klaus if she hadn't already.

"You were trying to save Elena's life," Rebekah contradicted him. She scowled, settling back against the seat and crossing her arms over her chest. "It's always about Elena. I don't know what any of you see in that boring whiner," she muttered.

"Rebekah, what are you doing here?" Stefan asked again. He wasn't in the mood to listen to her complain about Elena and he definitely did not want to get in the middle of whatever weird game her and Damon were playing.

"Caroline told Nik that Elena left town with Elijah and the two of them went to go look for her. Nik wouldn't let me go with them," Rebekah replied. She rolled her eyes, glancing down at her nails. "I knew you two would be off to rescue poor Elena so I thought I would join you. It took you long enough to finish going through her room so I waited in the car."

Stefan shook his head. "You're not coming with us. Damon, turn the car around so we can bring Rebekah home," he said.

"No," Damon and Rebekah replied. They glared at each other before Damon shifted his angry gaze to his brother. "We're not going back to Mystic Falls until we find Elena. If we have to take her with us, so be it." Maybe they'd get lucky and Rebekah would come in handy if they had to negotiate with Elijah or with Klaus. Damon was going to snap Caroline's neck when he got his hands on her. What the hell had she been thinking?

"So it's settled," Rebekah said. She sent Stefan a smug look as she leaned forward once more and pushed the button to turn on the radio. "I don't want to listen to you two blithering anymore," she warned.

"You heard the lady." Damon gave Stefan a tight smile, turning up the radio and gripping the steering wheel hard as he concentrated on driving. Stefan rolled his eyes and went back to staring out the passenger window.

* * *

Caroline was doing her best not to squirm as she sat beside Klaus in the back of the black SUV. True to his word, he'd stood in her room with her and watched her while she'd packed her bag and left a note for her mother. He'd spent most of the time on the phone, calling various hybrids and lackeys to spread the word that he was looking for Elijah and Elena. Caroline had been afraid one of his calls would be to Tyler, but as far as she knew, he hadn't tried to contact him. Caroline hadn't heard from him in awhile either and she could only hope that he was getting closer to breaking his sire bond.

She still had no idea if she'd made the right call by telling Klaus everything so she could make a deal with him. Caroline believed that he would keep his word and that he wouldn't hurt Elena as long as she could talk her friend into coming back. But they had to find her first and Caroline had nothing to go on. It didn't seem like Klaus did either. He'd told the driver to head south, but that was it. She glanced at him sideways, trying to be casual and found him watching her.

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" Caroline asked, annoyed. The truth was that he was making her self-conscious, but she wasn't going to let him know that she was anything other than irritated by his presence.

"Aside from your breathtaking beauty, you've been awfully quiet, sweetheart," Klaus replied smoothly. "That isn't like you and I was concerned that something might be wrong."

Caroline wanted to ask what made him think he knew anything about her, but it was hard to deny that she was a big talker. "I'm just wondering why you feel the need to bring a chauffeur. Aren't you the big, bad hybrid?" she sneered. As much as Caroline didn't relish the thought of being alone with Klaus, she really didn't like having any of his hybrids around either.

"I am," Klaus replied proudly. "I'd also prefer to enjoy your company rather than worry about navigating the road." He smiled at her and Caroline tried to decide if it was better that he was being nice or if she preferred the Klaus who had been suspicious of her while he watched her pack her things. "You're safe with me, love. I gave you my word," he reminded her.

"You'll forgive me if I'm not exactly reassured considering you killed my friends," Caroline replied, her tone making it clear that she was never going to forget that. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from him to stare out the tinted window. But after a few minutes, she couldn't take the silence anymore and shifted to face him once again. He was still watching her. "What is your plan anyway?" she asked. "Do you really think we can just drive up and down the coast and stumble upon Elena and Elijah?"

Klaus's expression darkened for a moment and Caroline wondered if she'd pushed him too far. "I have my hybrids looking for my brother and Elena. In the meantime, we are going to track down a witch who owes me a favor," he said. "Once that is taken care of, we should have a better lead to follow."

Caroline frowned. "We're going after a witch that owes you a favor?" she repeated, confused. He'd been in such a hurry to get on the road that she'd just assumed nothing was more important to him than finding Elena and Elijah. She didn't understand what Klaus would need a witch for. Caroline knew there were tracking spells, Bonnie had done a few before, but she got the feeling it was more than that and she was missing something.

"As you know since you tried to help her kill us, my mother has bound my siblings and me together. Her spell failed the first time, but she won't stop trying. I need the witch to undo the spell so we're not bound anymore," Klaus explained. He was not going to risk giving his mother a chance to try again. Klaus planned to break the spell, track down Elena and then find Esther and tear her heart out for a second time.

There was a hard edge to his voice when he spoke of his mother that sent a chill down Caroline's spine. She decided she was just going to ignore the pointed remark about her part in the Originals' near assassination; she'd already explained to Klaus and Rebekah that she wasn't sorry for what she'd done and she wasn't going to tell him otherwise now.

"Okay, so we find this witch and she does her spell and then what is your plan?" she asked. Klaus had mentioned something about knowing places Elijah liked. Even though Caroline knew Elena was safe with him, she still wanted to find her friend and bring her home.

"You should focus on enjoying the ride, love," Klaus said. His dark expression faded as his familiar smirk took its place. "This is our first vacation together. I can have the driver stop somewhere and pick up a new camera if you'd like."

Caroline's mouth fell open. "Are you serious?" she asked disbelievingly. "This is _not_ a vacation. I would never go on vacation with you. I'm here to make sure that you don't hurt Elena or any of my other friends. That's it." Her voice was firm and she gave him a stern look before she turned away once more, wondering what the hell she'd gotten herself into.

Klaus laughed. "You'll change your mind," he said confidently. "You're meant to be more than a small town girl, Caroline. This will only be the first opportunity for me to show you how much beauty the world has to offer."

She swallowed hard, but held her ground and continued staring out the window instead of looking at him. Caroline didn't care how intriguing his offer or his accent was, Klaus was a murderer and he had destroyed the lives of everyone she cared about. She was here to get Elena back and that was that.

* * *

Elena chewed on her bottom lip as she paced the length of the hotel suite for what felt like the hundredth time since she'd gotten up that morning. Her eyes drifted to Elijah's closed bedroom door and she wondered what he was doing in there. She doubted he was the type to sleep in and even if he was, it was nearly noon. She'd considered knocking a few times, but she'd stopped herself just short of lifting her fist and then she'd turned and started pacing again. She'd already imposed on him by convincing him to let her leave town with him; she didn't need to disturb him on top of that.

She did wonder if he was doing this on purpose though; if maybe he was trying to make her want to go back. They were still in Virginia after all, at a gorgeous hotel near the ocean. Elena's mouth had fallen open when Elijah had unlocked the door to the suite. She was fairly certain the room she'd slept in was bigger than the second floor of her house. Elijah obviously wasn't the type to forgo comfort and the finer things in life, even if they were technically on the run. But she wondered if he had chosen the locale to give her time to change her mind before he moved on to wherever it was he'd planned on going.

Elijah hadn't said much in the car, but neither had she. Elena had spent the drive thinking about her friends and how they would eventually see that they were better off without her. She knew Caroline must have found her note by now and she imagined Stefan and Damon were worried, Ric too. Guilt tightened in her chest, but Elena pushed it aside. This was the best thing she could do for the people that mattered to her. Klaus would chase her, but Elijah wouldn't let any harm come to her. Everything was going to be fine eventually.

Pausing in front of the balcony doors, Elena stared out at the ocean. It looked like it was going to be a gorgeous day. It wasn't warm enough to go swimming, but the sun was bright and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Elena tried to pretend she was on vacation for a moment, but her body wasn't fooled and the tension between her shoulders refused to ease. She wondered if she would ever be able to relax again or if she was constantly going to feel this way.

"Elena."

She jumped as Elijah's quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts. Elena placed her hand over her heart to try and calm down as she turned to face him. He stood in front of his door, dressed in a fresh suit, his hands folded behind his back as he watched her with an unreadable expression on his face. "Sorry," Elena said sheepishly, giving him a small smile. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, not sure what else to say.

"Well enough," Elijah replied. He moved further into the room, but he walked toward the seating area instead of her. His eyes passed over the small tray of water bottles and fruit that were complimentary with the suite and he picked up the room service menu before he turned to face her again. "You must be hungry. What would you like for breakfast? Lunch," he corrected after a quick glance at his watch.

"I already had an apple, but you can order something if you're hungry," Elena said. As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back. She had no idea where Elijah got his blood from. She assumed he didn't just feed off random people, but she'd never seen him with a blood bag either, aside from the time she'd pulled the dagger from his chest and handed him one herself. Elena decided it probably wasn't her place to start asking questions.

Elijah could practically see the questions swirling through her mind. He'd heard her pacing the suite, but he'd had a few things he'd needed to take care of before emerging from his room. He'd also wanted to give Elena time to process what she was doing in case she planned on changing her mind. Elijah wanted to stay in Virginia for one more night and then he was never going to set foot in the state again, at least not for the next century or so. "I've already eaten as well," he said.

"That's good," Elena said. She wasn't sure why she was nervous. In spite of everything, she trusted Elijah. He'd always been honest with her and she'd done her best to be honest with him. There was no reason they couldn't just have a normal conversation. "Was this hotel where you planned to go first or did you decide to come here because of me?" she asked.

"It's my favorite hotel in the city," Elijah replied. He opened a bottle of water and poured some into two glasses. He carried them toward the couch and waited for Elena to make her way over. Once she did, he handed her one of the glasses and waited for her to sit down before he sat in the chair across from her. "But I had no intention of staying here before you requested to accompany me."

Elena nodded as she took a sip of the water. Even though it was room temperature, it felt good, normal. It was normal to drink water and sit around talking with a friend. She wasn't sure Elijah considered her a friend at this point, but he obviously cared enough about her to agree to let her tag along with him. That was something. "I'm sorry I ruined your plans, but I appreciate you doing this, Elijah. I hope you know that. I'm not going to change my mind," she added.

"I owe you a debt, Elena," Elijah replied. He set his glass down without taking a sip and met her gaze. "My actions were abominable and they were beneath me. You have my word that I will make sure no harm comes to you from any member of my family. Niklaus has already ordered his hybrid army to find us." Elijah had been surprised his brother had found out about Elena's disappearance so quickly, but Elijah knew he couldn't take anything for granted so he was prepared for the creatures that would come after them.

Elena's hand shook as she lifted the glass to her lips to take another drink. She couldn't believe Klaus already knew she was gone. It wasn't like her friends would have told him. But that meant that he had probably left Mystic Falls and that was a good thing. That was the part she was going to focus on. "Thank you for telling me," she said. "I'm used to people keeping things from me for my own good."

Elijah raised an eyebrow and the look he gave her clearly said that he did not appreciate being grouped in with the other people in her life. "You are free to make your own choices, Elena. All I can do is give you the facts and assure you that I will have no trouble evading the hybrids my brother sends after you," he said distastefully. Elijah hated Niklaus's obsession with making more hybrids. Their family had already gone against nature enough for a thousand lifetimes.

She was having a hard time reading the look on his face. Elena was used to Elijah being stoic, but she could see how much he hated Klaus's hybrids. But there was something else in his expression that made her want to reach out and ask him if there was anything she could do to help. But Elena figured she shouldn't push her luck more than she already had. "We don't have to stay here another night. I'm not going to change my mind," she said.

"It's all right," Elijah replied. "I've paid for the room for another night and then we can leave in the morning. I don't recommend venturing outside since we're still too close to Mystic Falls, but the choice is yours," he said. Elijah had agreed to let her join him and he'd vowed to keep her safe, but she wasn't his prisoner. He wasn't going to tell her that she couldn't leave the room, even if he did think it was a bad idea.

"I like it here," Elena admitted. She gave him another small smile as she shifted on the couch, pulling her legs underneath her body. "Where were you planning on going first? Is that where we're going next?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm not normally this…" She paused, not sure what the word was to describe the way she was acting. She was still too nervous and she wondered how long it would be before she could relax and just have a normal conversation with Elijah.

"It's all right, Elena," Elijah said again. He wasn't put off by her questions; he understood that this was a life altering change for her and he never expected any of this to be easy. "I wanted to put distance between myself and Mystic Falls, but I hadn't thought much further ahead than that. There are a lot of variables to consider. My mother is still out there with Finn and as long as my siblings and I are bound together, we're vulnerable," he said.

Elena swallowed hard. She hadn't thought of that. "Esther can't do the spell without the other witches and they're not going to help her after what happened to Bonnie's mom," she pointed out. Talking about Esther's spell and Bonnie's mom wasn't going to help the awkwardness between them, but Elena didn't want Elijah to think she couldn't handle it. "Do you think she'll find someone else to help her?"

"I don't know," Elijah replied darkly. He knew his mother was willing to go to extremes to undo what she'd created, but he had no way of knowing how much the witches would be willing to help. He didn't think she could do much on her own, but he wouldn't put anything past her after what she had done. "I'll need to keep an eye on the situation. Is there somewhere specific you wanted to go?" he asked, effectively dismissing the subject of his mother.

"Not really," Elena said. She hadn't given their actual destination much thought; all she'd wanted was to get out of Mystic Falls so that the people she cared about would be safe. It wasn't like she'd ever traveled aside from a few road trips with her parents over the years or the times she'd been running away or hiding out from Klaus. She supposed this was just another version of that, but it felt different than the other times. She wasn't sure if it was because she was with Elijah or because it felt more permanent. Elena didn't expect to see Mystic Falls ever again. The thought made her chest ache, but at the same time, she knew it was the right decision.

"I've always wanted to go to California for the nice weather," Elena said. She'd always imagined herself learning to surf and working someplace that was in walking distance of the ocean. Of course that had been a pipe dream. She'd never expected to have the opportunity to live anywhere other than Mystic Falls. "But I'm fine with wherever you decide is best," she added, not wanting Elijah to think she was making demands.

He nodded and reached for his glass of water, sipping it slowly as he watched her. "It's been years since I've been out west," Elijah said. The fact that it wasn't one of the places he frequented could work to their advantage. He knew Niklaus would send his hybrids up and down the east coast and he would probably stick to the bigger cities. "We will leave for California in the morning. It'll take a few days to drive there. Flying is too much of a risk at this point."

Elena nodded. She didn't mind traveling by car because she figured it would give her a chance to see more of the country. "Thank you again for doing this," she said. Elena held up her hand when she saw Elijah open his mouth. "I know what you're going to say, but I need to get this out." He nodded and she swallowed hard, taking a minute to gather her thoughts so she wasn't just rambling at him.

"People are always trying to protect me and I appreciate that, but at the same time, it's a suffocating way to live. There's a chance that leaving Mystic Falls will turn out to be a mistake, but it's _my_ mistake to make. I know you're dealing with a lot right now too and I just want you to know that I'm here if you need me. Or even if you don't," she added, her face flushing. Elena knew he was over a thousand years old and he could take care of himself without her help, but she still felt the need to let him know that she was there.

Elijah set down his water, his eyes holding hers for a moment. "I meant what I said about your compassion, Elena. It's a gift that a lot of people do not possess. Hold onto it and thank you for sharing it with me. I will do my best to be worthy of the honor," he said quietly. Elijah rose to his feet and crossed the room to the balcony, standing in the spot she had earlier.

"You're welcome," Elena replied even though she knew he hadn't wanted a response. She watched him for a moment, wondering if he would ever really let her in. She knew so much about his connection to his family and what had happened in the past, but she knew next to nothing about the man himself. Elijah was honorable and he loved his family more than anything, but beneath that, he was still a man who had lived for over a thousand years. She really wanted to get to know that man and find out who he was. She just wasn't sure he would let his guard down long enough to let her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Holding On and Letting Go

**Author:** ihearttvsnark

**Fandom:** The Vampire Diaries

**Pairing/Characters:**Elena Gilbert and Elijah Mikaelson, Caroline Forbes, Klaus Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore and Stefan Salvatore

**Rating:**R

**Summary:**Elena decides that her friends would be better off without her and convinces Elijah to let her join him when he leaves town after his mother's failed attempt to kill him and his siblings. Unable to sit back and let her go, Elena's friends and enemies set out to find her, but no one's journey turns out the way they expected.

**Warnings: Spoilers **through _**3x15 All My Children**_ and then the story is AU. Elena/Elijah will be the main focus of this story but the other characters named are heavily featured in each chapter.

* * *

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't_

_It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed_

**Chapter 3**

Caroline was startled awake when her phone vibrated against her hip. She opened her eyes, blinking to clear the sleep haze from them and was surprised to see that the SUV was empty. She didn't remember falling asleep and she had no idea where they were or where Klaus and the driver had gone. The last thing she recalled was crossing the border into Florida.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, Caroline expected to see Damon's name on the caller ID. He'd been sending her less than flattering text messages ever since Rebekah had turned up in the back of his car. Even though she would rather swallow her tongue than admit it, Caroline had a feeling she was safer with Klaus for the time being than she would have been with Damon.

She was relieved to see that the message was from Stefan. He'd made it clear that he wasn't happy about her choice either, but Caroline knew that was because he was worried about her and she appreciated that. She ran her finger across the phone to read the message. Stefan told her that they were heading to Maryland next because Rebekah said Elijah had an old friend in Annapolis. Caroline texted him back and let him know they were somewhere in Florida and she'd let him know if they found any clues. She'd already filled him in on Klaus's mission to undo the spell before he tracked down Elena and Stefan had been as surprised as she had been that Elena wasn't his top priority.

Caroline waited a few minutes, but Stefan didn't text her again so she pushed the car door open and was greeted by a blast of hot, sticky air. She ran her hand over her hair, smoothing it down as she looked around to try and figure out where she was. She could see the ocean across the way and the beach was already fairly crowded with people. Glancing down at her phone, Caroline saw it was a little after eleven and it was Saturday so that explained why so many people were milling about. There were a few restaurants and stores across the street, but she had no way of knowing which one of them Klaus might be in.

Chewing on her lip, Caroline leaned back against the car and realized she could really go for some blood. It had been awhile since she'd eaten. Her body tensed as she wondered if that was what Klaus was doing; feeding on some innocent person. It would be just like him to do it in broad daylight, she thought, disgusted. Footsteps caught her attention and she turned to see the driver making his way back to the car with a cup of coffee in his hand. She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as he approached her.

"Klaus is waiting for you in there," he said, turning to point at the diner across the street. "I guess he didn't want to wake you up since you were sleeping and stuff." He grinned as his eyes roamed over her before they met hers.

Caroline nodded, uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her. She moved around him and crossed the street to the diner. Like the beach, it was crowded, but she spotted Klaus sitting at a booth in the back. He lifted his hand to wave when she came in as the familiar smirk crossed his face. Caroline just rolled her eyes and crossed the diner, dropping into the seat across from him. "What are we doing here?" she asked, adding, "Where are we?"

"This is Marco Island. We're meeting an old friend, love," Klaus replied as he pushed a thermos across the table to her. "Did you have a nice nap? Maybe you dreamt about me?" he prompted, his smirk transforming into a grin.

"No," Caroline replied. She started to ask what was in the thermos, but didn't have to when the familiar smell reached her nose. Her own blood started pumping faster with anticipation, but she forced herself to hold off drinking it. "Where did this come from?" she asked suspiciously. It didn't matter how hungry she was, she wasn't about to drink blood Klaus might have killed someone to get.

He laughed, amusement shining in his eyes. "Relax, sweetheart," Klaus replied. "I had Harold pack some blood bags for our trip. I haven't been eating the locals. I know you're hungry, Caroline," he said.

She knew he could be lying to her, but Caroline decided she was going to choose to believe him. She took a large sip from the thermos, enjoying the taste as the blood seeped down her throat. She was quiet for a few moments until the craving started to subside. "So tell me about this friend of yours," she said.

"Why don't I introduce you instead?" Klaus replied. His grin widened as he slid out of the booth and Caroline turned her head to watch as a woman walked toward them. She didn't look much older than she was, but Caroline knew looks could be deceiving. She had long dark hair, blue eyes and she was wearing a dress that screamed that she was trying too hard. But Klaus didn't seem to notice as he wrapped his arms around her and she gave him a loud kiss, directly on the lips.

"It's been too long since you called me, Klaus. I've missed you." She practically purred as she pressed herself against him and Caroline rolled her eyes at her obnoxious behavior. It was obvious the two of them had some kind of past and apparently whoever this woman was had no problem letting the entire diner see that. Caroline took another long sip from her thermos as she waited for them to return to the table.

"Francesca, this is Caroline," Klaus said as he led her back to the table and motioned for her to take the seat he had vacated earlier. "Caroline, Francesca is the old friend I was telling you about. She's here to help with the mess my mother created," he added as he surprised Caroline by taking the seat beside her instead of joining Francesca. She decided she wasn't going to think about why that made her feel smug.

"It's nice to meet you," Caroline told the other woman politely. Caroline could see her sizing her up and there had been a hint of something that flashed in Francesca's eyes when Klaus had sat down beside Caroline. She couldn't resist giving Francesca a bright smile even though she couldn't have been less happy to be in this situation if she tried.

Francesca simply nodded in Caroline's direction before her gaze shifted back to Klaus and the smile reappeared on her face. "You know I'll be happy to help with anything that you need, but this spell is not an easy one. Esther is a powerful witch in her own right, but she's got generations of spirits behind her. It'll take some time to gather the ingredients," she said.

Klaus shook his head. "That won't do, Francesca. I need this spell broken." His voice was harsh and Caroline glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to them. She noticed Francesca didn't seem fazed by his outburst as she reached across the table and took his hand in hers.

"Have I ever let you down, Klaus?" Francesca asked, a smirk playing across her lips. "I'll put a rush on things, but you need to do your part too. I need a blood sample from each of your siblings. Can you get that for me?"

"No," Caroline blurted out before Klaus had a chance to say anything. "You don't even know where most of them are," she pointed out. Caroline knew Finn had disappeared with Esther and while he might know where Kol was and even Rebekah, he obviously had no clue where to find Elijah, let alone fast.

Klaus turned to her, arching an eyebrow. "It means a lot that you're concerned about my well-being, sweetheart, but leave my siblings to me." He nodded at Francesca. "I'll need a few days. Can you get everything else in that time?" he asked.

"Of course I can," Francesca replied confidently. She ran her hand along his wrist as she leaned across the table and pressed another kiss to his lips, this one lingering. "I'll be in touch." She got up and walked away without another word to Caroline.

"She was charming," Caroline muttered, rolling her eyes at the way she had thrown herself at Klaus. Clearly the woman had no dignity. "How exactly do you plan on tracking everyone down?" she asked.

Klaus smirked at her. "Don't be jealous, love," he said as he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. "Francesca and I are history. I only have eyes for you now," he pointed out.

Caroline snatched her hand away and glared at him. "Gross," she sneered. "I'm with Tyler and I do not care who you're with, past or present." She scooted closer to the wall to put more space between them. "How are you going to find everyone?" she asked again.

"Leave the details to me," Klaus replied as he got to his feet, ignoring her outburst. "I need to take care of something. Do you want to order food?" he asked.

Caroline started to say no, but then changed her mind. She figured it would buy Stefan and Damon a little time if she kept Klaus in the diner for awhile. "I do," she said, reaching for one of the menus. "Where are you going?"

Klaus smiled at her and shook his head. "That's not your concern," he told her before he turned and walked out of the diner, pulling his cell phone from his pocket as he used his vampire speed to put a decent amount of distance between himself and the diner so Caroline wouldn't be able to hear his conversation. He scrolled through his contacts, pressed a button and brought the phone to his ear. "Where are you?" he demanded.

"Hello to you too," Rebekah grumbled, irritated by his tone. She leaned against the bumper of Damon's car as she glanced toward the gas station where the Salvatore brothers were getting supplies, making sure they didn't notice she was on the phone. "We're in Maryland, heading for Annapolis. Where are you?" she asked.

"Marco Island," Klaus replied. He'd been furious when Rebekah had told him that she'd defied his orders and tagged along with the Salvatores on their quest to find Elena before he did. But then Klaus had realized that he now had an advantage since his sister could tell him each and every move the Salvatores made. "Did you tell them about Elijah's old friend?" he guessed.

"Yes," Rebekah confirmed. She stretched her legs out in front of her and glanced at the gas station again. She couldn't hear what was being said inside and that meant they wouldn't be able to hear her either. "I neglected to mention the part where he died ninety years ago," she said, smirking.

Klaus laughed, pleased with his sister's deception. She would lead the Salvatores on a wild goose chase while he took care of the spell. "I'm sure they're going to be disappointed. But I need you to send them in a different direction. We need Sage," he said.

Rebekah scowled. "Why in the bloody hell would we need that peasant whore?" she demanded. Rebekah hated everything about the other woman and she had no interest in finding her and catching up on old times.

"Be nice, Rebekah," Klaus warned, not in the mood for one of her tantrums. "She's the only way we're going to be able to get what we need from Finn. Francesca is going to do the spell, but she needs blood samples from all of us. Can I trust you to handle this?" he asked.

She sighed, her scowl deepening. Rebekah didn't like the idea of her existence potentially resting on help from Sage, but she would do what needed to be done. "Fine," Rebekah agreed. "Where exactly am I supposed to find her and what do I tell Damon and Stefan?"

"I have one of my hybrids tracking her down and once I get her location, I'll send it to you. Just tell them that she's a potential lead to Elijah, they won't know any better," Klaus replied. "I need to get back to Caroline. I'm counting on you, Rebekah."

"My life is at risk too," Rebekah reminded him. She ended the call without giving Nik a chance to say anything else. She didn't want any more lectures and she definitely didn't want to hear about whatever he was doing with Caroline.

She could see Damon and Stefan were in line now and Damon glanced in her direction, a smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes and turned away. He thought she was falling for his act and that flirting with her would pacify her. That was fine. He could think he was in charge all he wanted to. She was the one running the show.

* * *

Elena tapped her foot against the sidewalk as she sat outside the café, waiting for Elijah to come back with their orders. She'd already forgotten the name of the Kansas town they were in, probably because there wasn't much to it. After driving for nearly eight hours straight, Elijah had taken the next exit so they could get gas and take a break from the car. Once they'd left the gas station that had been right off the expressway, they'd driven for almost forty minutes through cornfields before they'd finally come across a town. It was the kind of place that made Mystic Falls seems like a bustling metropolis.

The weather was nice though and Elena was enjoying the feeling of the sun on her face after being cooped up in the car and in the hotel room before that. She still couldn't shake the guilt that was weighing on her chest as she thought about her friends and how upset they probably were with her for leaving. But she knew they'd get over it eventually. As harsh as that sounded, it was for the best and they'd have to accept that. She was moving on and they would all be safer because she was gone.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Elijah reappeared and set a salad container and a bottle of water down in front of her before moving around to the other side of the table to take his seat. Elena noticed that all he had was a bottle of water. "Nothing on the menu appealed to you?" she teased as she opened her salad container and stirred the dressing in with her fork.

Elijah shook his head. "I've already eaten today. The clerk said we were the first customers all afternoon," he commented as his gaze shifted to the deserted road that ran beside them.

Once again, Elena found herself wondering where he got his blood supply, but she still didn't feel like it was her place to ask. Things weren't as strained between them as they'd been that first night, but Elijah definitely had his guard up around her. She couldn't really blame him considering she'd betrayed him more than once in the past. "I was just thinking this place makes Mystic Falls seem busy." She took a bite of her salad and suddenly realized she was a lot hungrier than she'd thought.

"Do you miss it?" Elijah asked. He turned away from the street to meet her gaze once again and she couldn't quite read the look in his eyes.

"I'm always going to miss it," Elena admitted. She reached for the water and took a long sip. "But I'm not going to change my mind, Elijah." Elena knew that was the question he was really asking. "This is what's best for me and everyone I care about." She would miss them, but knowing they were safe was all that really mattered.

Elijah nodded. "I wasn't trying to change your mind. But I know what it's like to be separated from the people who matter most and it never gets easier," he told her.

"What about you?" Elena asked. She knew Elijah had spent centuries wanting his family to be reunited and she could only imagine what he must be going through after seeing that dream slip through his fingers once more. "Do you think there's still hope for your family?" she asked.

"I wish I knew," Elijah replied. His gaze shifted to something in the distance and he was quiet for a few moments before he continued. "Niklaus's singular focus is his hybrids. He doesn't see that he could have so much more if he'd just let that ridiculous notion go," he commented. "But he's perfectly willing to let each of us rot in coffins as long as he has his pets. I may never understand my brother," he muttered.

Elena wasn't sure what to say or if she should say anything at all. She didn't understand why Klaus was so obsessed with the hybrids either, not when he had a family that loved him, despite everything he'd done. She knew Elijah did, whether he would admit it or not, and she knew Rebekah did too. She didn't know Kol or Finn, but family was family.

"My mother is obviously lost to us," Elijah said before she had a chance to say anything. His voice took on a hard edge and Elena noticed his hand tightening on the water bottle he held as he spoke. "I know she wants to undo what she did, but to kill her own children?" He shook his head. "That's unforgivable. I will always regret my mistakes, but I will not project them onto others. We all made our choices."

"I'm sorry," Elena said. She wasn't sure she would ever forgive herself for not warning Elijah about what his mother had been planning. "I should have told you the truth. I thought getting rid of Klaus was more important than anything else, but that wasn't fair to you or your siblings. I'm no better than your mother."

"Stop," Elijah ordered. His harsh tone made her eyes widen and he reached across the table, taking her hand in his. "My mother's actions were her own and after everything Niklaus did to you and your family, I know why stopping him was so important to you and your friends. We all made mistakes, Elena, and we will all suffer from the consequences."

She turned her hand over beneath his and threaded their fingers together before he could pull away from her. "But that doesn't mean that we can't start over. There's no reason to torture yourself forever for things that are beyond your control, Elijah." She knew he felt responsible for his entire family, but that wasn't fair. He couldn't control them and he shouldn't have to punish himself for their mistakes.

A hint of a smile played at the corner of his lips, surprising her. "What is that expression?" he asked, "Something about a pot and a kettle?"

Elena couldn't help but laugh. Elijah wasn't normally the type to make jokes and she knew he had a point, but she couldn't help that laughter that bubbled out of her, forcing her to cover her mouth with her hand. "I guess I deserve that one," she admitted. "But at the same time, it's hard for me not to feel guilty when all this bad stuff happened because of me."

Elijah shook his head. "You did not ask for any of this, Elena. You can't control the fact that you were born from a supernatural bloodline anymore than I can control my brother's need to be the most powerful creature there is. But I suppose that doesn't stop either one of us from trying, does it?" he mused.

"No, it doesn't," Elena replied. She reluctantly pulled her hand back so she could finish eating. It felt like another barrier had fallen between them and she was grateful for that. Elijah understood her better than most people did and she understood him too; the most he would allow her to anyway. He was a complicated man, but all he wanted was for the people he loved to be safe and happy. She wanted the same.

"I want to believe there's hope for my family," Elijah said after a few moments of silence. "We used to be a real family, even after we were turned, and I want to believe that it's possible to go back to that, but I just don't know anymore," he told her. "My mother being out there is a risk to us all."

A chill went down Elena's spine and she pushed her food away, no longer hungry. "Do you think she'll be able to find a way to complete the spell?" Her words were barely a whisper. Esther was a powerful witch, but for all intents and purposes, she was dead. She needed the spirits to guide her and they were angry with her at the moment, but Elena didn't know how long that would last.

"That cannot be allowed to happen," Elijah replied. His voice had the cold edge again, but this time, Elena took comfort in it. She believed that he would find a way to stop his mother or his siblings would. She had to believe that because the alternative was too frightening to think about.

"Don't concern yourself with my mother," Elijah continued. "She's powerless for now and the spirits are not going to change their minds about helping her. She's not our concern," he said.

Elena nodded and tried to relax her posture, even as the unease remained in the pit of her stomach. Esther had waited a long time to put her plan into action and Elena didn't really see her fading quietly into the night. But for now, she knew she had to trust that Elijah was right and they didn't need to worry about Esther for the time being.

She gave him a small smile. "I'm going to go use the ladies' room and then we can get back on the road." Elena was suddenly anxious to put even more distance between them and Mystic Falls. She picked up her salad and tossed what was left in a trash can before she made her way into the café.

Elijah watched her go and waited until the door closed behind her before he reached into his pocket for his phone. He'd noticed the missed calls earlier, but he hadn't bothered to check the messages, assuming they were just status reports. He pressed the button for his voicemail and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Answer your bloody phone, Elijah." Rebekah's irritated voice was followed by a long, drawn out sigh. "Fine, ignore your baby sister once again in favor of that doppelganger bitch." There was a loud click that ended the message and Elijah waited for the next one.

"It's me again." Rebekah sounded calmer this time and she was talking much quieter. "Damon and Stefan are inside of a gas station and Nik just called. He's found a witch, but he wants us to go after Sage so I'm going to put the Salvatores on her trail once we leave Maryland. Nik better be right about this," she added before the message clicked off once again.

Elijah sighed and pressed the button to exit voicemail. Niklaus was smart to get Sage's help. She was the only one who really mattered to Finn. He glanced at the times on the missed calls and noted that almost two hours had passed and he didn't think Rebekah would be able to take his call so he texted her that they were still in Kansas and he would call her when he had a chance unless she got back to him first. When he was done, Elijah got to his feet to wait for Elena to return.


End file.
